Saturday, May 8, 2010
The Hubby is home. We missed him. Really, really missed him.
As of today he is going to be leaving his retail job of 4.5 years and following his passion of full-time music!
It feels good to write that. Like actually see it in black courier font on a white page!
I am thrilled for us. I mean for him. No... US.
I have been pushed beyond capacity with him gone. I've also felt completely in control of things too. I am an emotional creature. Those that love me in spite of this can attest to the highs and lows I hit.
While I may have hit some rock bottoms, I never for a second doubt that this is it. That The Hubby is doing the right thing. I am proud of him. I am proud of his perseverance and I am proud of the job he'll be doing.
Five years ago this September my mom took me for a long drive.
Hours and hours of passing farms and cars and cows, no plan in mind.
Well, besides the plan to distract me from the fact that I was just sent home from the hospital for the 5th time following a LONG and painful false labour alarm.
Miserable isn't a dreadful enough word for the mood I was in. It was bleak and frustrated and irritable.
I wanted to see The Prince. I wanted the swollen belly to deflate and I wanted the next part of the rest of my life. This part, this moment I was in, wasn't cool. It was trying every ounce of my patience. I thought it would never, ever pass.
Today I drove The Hubby to work. We drove on some of those same roads that I was resenting so many years ago.
It was strange. I was caught in a time warp.
Every November past, I would drive him to work and we would say, "only one more Christmas here". Then it would be summer holidays and we would say, "something will change by next year".
This past Christmas we didn't say that. We hardly hoped that because you can't simply make things happen. Especially not with a family to provide for.
But things WERE happening. We were just impatient. We wanted the next part of the rest of our lives. This part, this moment we were in, wasn't cool. It was trying every ounce of our patience. We thought it would never, ever pass.
Now I know that these phases will continue for the rest of our lives. The waves of up and downs and the desire for change and growth are inevitable.
Only now I like this wave we're riding. It's pretty awesome.
Okay, it's INCREDIBLE.
I am happy. WE are happy.