Tuesday, June 1, 2010


I went to a funeral today.
The third loss since November.
I hate funerals.
Yet I love the chance to honour those who were amazing, cherished people.
I swore I wouldn't cry. My Sis swore she wouldn't cry.
We lied.
I loved these people. They mattered whether distantly or directly and their absence is a void.

George was only 50.
A few weeks ago his family didn't know there'd be a chance he wouldn't be here.
Marina his wife, and his kids were a massive part of my childhood.
Their kindness and unfailing tenderness was memorable.
I dare anyone to say that they could be as generous as this family. And still have the humility of a true servant heart.

Well, the funeral service ended. Amidst tears and laughter for a beautiful life and legacy, we packed into the foyer.
The one that my siblings and I terrorized as small children.
The one where I first saw The Hubby after years apart.
The one where I said goodbye as my Dad moved on to pastor another church.
It felt smaller.
I was hugged by people whose smiles were what triggered my memory.
Faces that at first drew a blank, brought a flood of recollection when they shone their bright and unique grins.
I had a rich childhood.
The love this large and extensive group of individuals brought to my life helped me become who I am today.
In all honesty I saw Christ's love again and again and again.

And even still I needed a detox.
A lunch with Sis at a fab french restaurant (Coquine) on Young St. was nice... but the edge was still there.

You see there's a hurt that settles in along with the loss. A depth of love for the families remaining that makes breathing a little harder and tears a little more ready for the falling.

I know that God is ever faithful.
I know that God is still Omnipotent.
It just sucks.
And for a short while I need to let it suck. And then I need to let it go. And trust that God can deal with it. That God can make the hurt subside. And He does.
It just takes the time to detox.
...A walk by the lake is a good place to start....

...The Hubby is still away for another four days but I think his son is growing to be his mini-me even more that I thought.
I put The Prince to bed and when I went up to check on him I found him snuggled in watching Astro Boy on my Mac.
Insert The Hubby for the child and you have the exact same image I walk into sleep with every single night....

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